What makes it hard to see ourselves clearly?

The extent to which I can grow as a leader is directly related to the extent to which I can clearly see myself. But there are many barriers, such as:

• Harsh self judgment
  If I think that I "should" be perfect, then anything short of that is reason for harsh self criticism, which hurts, and in turn clouds self perception. To the extent that one can learn to observe self with compassion--not judgment--then more and more is revealed.
  
  
• Thinking "everyone else has it together, except for me"
  I've been fortunate to participate in some well run workshops in which participants had a safe space to share their worries and self perceptions. What comes up time and again is that most people struggle with the same issues! There is often a moment of silence in the room when a critical mass of people see "under the water" that everyone is paddling as much as they are.
   
• Concern about being blamed
  Remember as a kid the big concerns about fault? "It's not my fault!" These concerns don't seem to go away--they just go underground. I have a run-in with a colleague, and I so don't want it to be about me. I want her to be the problem, so that I'm the angel.

To recap, everyone struggles with these things, self judgment gets in the way, and experiment with being blamed. On the other side is great opportunity for leadership growth.