Even in Tango, both are leading.

Argentine tango is a great way to look at leadership. Why? Because structurally it is set up to be very clear about who is the leader, and who is the follower.

Furthermore, both people in this partnership have clear responsibilities. It’s true—it does “take two to tango,” and dancing helps me remember that in other areas of my life.

A common view of leadership is that it’s a top-down thing. Leadership is for CEO’s, it’s for managers. As if everyone else can just relax, let go, and not have any responsibility! In the way that I define leadership, everybody is invited to the party. Although in my experience, not everyone shows up.

In my view, there is leadership responsibility any time I’m interacting with another person. That isn’t to say that I’m always deciding what’s going to happen. But rather I have a responsibilities. What am I talking about?

An example: I’m dancing with my friend Leslie. She is leading, I’m following. Yes, she is responsible to let me know the next step. And to make sure we don’t crash into anyone.

So am I off the hook?

No, I have lots to do.

I need to make sure I stay well connected. I need to be sensitive to her lead, interpreting what she wants. I need to maintain my own balance, and not lean on her.
And at a less technical level, if she’s grasping my hand too tightly, I need to ask her to loosen it.

It's a collaboration.

Yes there is hierarchy, yes there are positional responsibilities. Just as importantly, there are individual, interpersonal responsibilities to take on.

It's up to me whether or not I take them on.